Does the size of a man's penis matter to the sexual gratification of women? Does Size Matter? This is a question that continues to baffle and harm men's egos. I've always wished articles and programs on the "whole penis size question" would do a much better job of delving into the whole subject rather than using the default method of finding women to comment "yes it does" in a way that makes men paranoid but apparently even the recent "20/20" program on the matter didn't do much to either answer the question or calm men's fears.

So does size matter? Yes, but usually not in the way that you think. The truth is that we're all individuals. We can accept this as long as we're talking about taste in movies and music, political party affiliation, job preference etc., but as soon as the topic is something as emotionally loaded as sex - where the media has a big say in both developing our tastes and informing us on how to be "cool and desired" - we begin to get a bit panicky and want to make sure we're stacking up as well as others. Unfortunately when we're dealing with sex most of us fall right back into the way we felt as teenagers.

But here's the thing, just as each man's penis is unique to him, so is each woman's vagina. What's really important for women is finding a penis that's right for her particular build. So why don't women just say this? Well, frankly most women aren't tuned into their sexuality enough to know what the heck size she needs. Depending on which survey you refer to 60-85% of women never orgasm from intercourse alone. By "intercourse alone" I mean not using any toys, hands etc. for extra stimulation.

Looking at the subject from this angle you can see that our obsession with the size and amount of time a penis can stay erect is missing the point. Women don't enjoy intercourse as much as men because most couples haven't figured out how to stimulate both the female clitoris and vagina enough for the woman to orgasm via intercourse. The problem, however, is that women often lie, telling a lover they have had an orgasm in order not to hurt a man's feelings. Once this has happened once, the woman often feels she can't tell the truth - but at the same time her feelings of resentment over not having the same fun as her lover builds. And then you start hearing "I'm too tired" and "I've got a headache" and the man is confused because sex for him is fun and relatively easy and he thinks (from the show of "moans and groans" a woman acts out for him during intercourse) that she should be as willing as he is and as often.

So yes, women do hold responsibility for lying. We do need to grow up and tell the truth about our sexual needs. But society doesn't make it easy, because men aren't filled in as they reach sexual maturity to the fact that women have very complex sexual engines. Just because our vaginas often fit your penis like a glove that surrounds your favorite tool with exquisite pleasure with each stroke, does not mean that same tool (no matter how hard or big) is filling us with the same. Nope. The vagina is still a great mystery - medical science has yet to map out all of its nerves. The experts are still arguing over whether there does in fact exists a "g-spot" orgasms and "female ejaculation" even in the face of women who have been recorded on video experiencing both.

But as we're all individuals not all women will be capable of either. That doesn't mean the baby has to be thrown out with the bath water, which is what happened for most of the twentieth century. The message women got from the media was that if we didn't orgasm easily from intercourse "too bad" we'd have to get my orgasms from either manual stimulation or oral sex.

But the vagina, mysterious creature that she is, is not to be written off so easily. The vagina, if handled correctly, can wake up and experience far more pleasure than most women ever realized - especially with a partner who has the right sized tool to do the trick. With the arrival of the Internet great information on sex is available to all who are interested in learning more. I highly recommend you check out www.sexuality.org for all kinds of information on sex including a great article on "g-spot play".

So does size matter? Yes, some women do need a "large" penis, either because of their natural physical build, or because their vaginal muscles have become stretched out. The vagina, however, can be greatly strengthened and tightened through exercises called "kegel" exercises.

Kegel Exercises

These kegel exercises also increase the amount of sensation that a woman feels in her vagina from any type of penetration, whether it be from fingers, a toy, or penis, but it doesn't happen overnight. These exercises, just like any other type we need for muscle building, need to be practiced regularly in order to both feel a difference and keep things in the best shape.

And since each one of us is an individual, and each vagina has its own way it likes to be stimulated, it takes time and effort to find out which position is actually right for your lover. And guess what, chances are it's not doggy style. Give the choice most women will prefer a position that has the couple face to face, with "woman on top" being a big favorite. Some women do prefer doggy style, especially if the man's hand stimulates her clitoris at the same time however, for many women the penetration during doggy style goes too deep and hits her cervix which can be extremely painful. Unfortunately many women will suffer through intercourse that's actually painful to them (especially in a new relationship) rather than confessing to a man that it hurts.

Here's where an average penis (or even smaller, if the woman herself is) has the advantage - it has more leverage for movement. It can be maneuvered to stroke just the right spot, in just the right position, in just the right rhythm, to take a woman right over the edge. Does size matter? Yes, it does, but happily there are all kinds of women for whom your package is just exactly what she needs.