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Finding Your Balls
Dear Sex Doctor,
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and I just recently broke up with her because her cousin told me that she was cheating on me with at least three other guys. Let me tell you about the relationship before we broke up.
For most of it, everything was going really good. We both loved each other and spent a lot of time together. We would talk every night and see each other at least 4 days a week. Though the time however, I caught her in a number of lies that she had no answer for. I had a feeling that she was cheating on me but I had no real proof so I couldn't really do anything about it.
One day all of a sudden she wanted to take "a break" not to see other people she said, but just to think if she really wanted to be with me. I was so shocked and hurt by this but I agreed to it and left her alone to think about our relationship and if she wants to continue it.
Then on Valentine's Day we went out and she told me that she missed me and loved me and wanted to continue our relationship, so we got back together. Then a little less then a month later she wanted to take another break. She said her reason was that she still wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me or not.
This was killing me and I didn't know what to do because I loved her so much and was really hurt by this. So about a week after that she called me, (we were still emailing each other every day throughout the break) and told me that she misses me like crazy and real wanted to see me. I went to see her and as soon as she saw me she just started crying. She told me that she loves me with all her heart and wanted to live with me, marry me, and have my kids.
We talked about stuff like this before but I didn't think she still felt like this so it felt really good to hear those words come out of here mouth again. The next day we talked and she told me again everything that she told me the night before so I knew she really meant it but she still wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me right now. Again I was really hurt because I wanted things to just go back to normal. We continued to email each other everyday and tell each other how much we loved each other and wanted to be together.
Then, one day her cousin called me. Her cousin and I had a good friendship, so it wasn't unusual for her to call and check in. When she called I told her that her cousin and I weren't together any more, but that I loved her and wanted to be with her. Then she dropped a bomb. She told me that I should ask her cousin what a "break" meant to her because my girlfriends was out seeing other people!
Then, she told me that my girlfriend even was seeing people while we were still together, and that she had felt very bad for me! She said that she knew of at least three other guys she had been sleeping with and one of them was her ex.
Hearing this broke my heart and I confronted my girlfriend. She confirmed what her cousin had said and then broke out into tears, telling me that she really loved me. It broke my heart to see her cry like that but she left me no other choice than to break up with her.
My problem is that I'm still in love with her and want to get back with her and she has told me that she still loves me and regrets ever going on these "breaks" and wanted to get back with me too. I talked to her cousin again and she told me that she's still having sex with one of the guys and that she doesn't know if my girlfriend could be faithful to me.
My question to you is that I really want to get back with her even though she cheated on me cause I still love her with all my heart so I don't know if I should just give it awhile and see what happens or should I try and get back with her right away? Right now we aren't talking, (we both decided that was best for now), but she told me that she wants me to go with her to her doctors appointment which happens to be on our 2yrs and 2month anniversary and that we could talk then.
Please help me decide if I should try and get back together with her or if should I just move on? I really love her and miss her so please help me.
-------------------------------------------
Holy shit! You are an absolute pussy! There, you made me say it; I hope you're happy!
Why in the hell would you put up with this from her or any woman? She's out whoring around with other guys while you and she are together, or on a "break" or whatever the hell you want to call it, and you still want to get back with her? Don't be a jackass!
This woman has absolutely NO respect for you - let alone any love for you - and I don't care what she says or promises, she's a lying, using bitch! Her ACTIONS scream it, even if her words don't! She's really got the game down too! She can turn on the tears anytime she wants if she thinks that will get you to jump off a cliff.
Of course, you just make it very, very easy for her to do all of this! She walks all over you, decides when and where these "breaks" happen, and you just go along with the program like a happy little puppy!
It's time to go get your balls back from this woman and put them back in your pants where they belong. Check her purse, that's probably where you'll find them. Then, tell her in absolutely clear, and unambiguous terms that she needs to hit the streets because she doesn't deserve you!
Whatever you do, DO NOT go to that doctor's appointment with her either, and DO NOT have sex with her again! Here's why: she may very well be going to the doctor to find out if she's pregnant, and if she is, she's going to claim the baby is yours! How do I know this? Because you're the little boy that will do anything for her - even raise the kid that some other guy gave her, take care of her, pay all the bills, even watch the kid while she goes out and finds new saps to bang!
Get the hell out of this right now. Change your number and even MOVE if you have to! But, do not agree to see this lying tramp every again, and get your head on straight brother, you're headed for nothing but more heartache or even worse - much, much worse - with this woman!
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? Dr. Neder answers all email. Write him at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers. Learn about his book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", at: www.beingaman.com.
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